Mr and Mrs Wedding Invitations

When addressing a wedding invitation, there are a few easy rules to remember. It is customary to use separate etiquette for the inner and outside envelopes. While the inner envelope should be more casual, the outer envelope should be formal with titles and/or complete names (leaving out first names, titles, or last names).

Titles are not required; you are allowed to use your visitors’ names without the titles since they can be limiting and exclusive for some (especially if specific guests don’t identify as “Mrs.,” “Ms.,” “Miss,” or “Mr.”). Use the title “Mx,” which is gender-neutral, to address wedding invitations in the modern style.

For One Envelope

• When listing a married pair, use the husband’s first and last name only if they share the same last name:
  • • Mr. and Mrs. William Johnson
• Alternatively, if you want to refer to the husband and wife equally, you can use BOTH of their first and last names:
  • • Mr. William Johnson and Mrs. Olivia Johnson
      —or—
      Mr. William and Mrs. Olivia Johnson
• Depending on your desire, the person you are closest to, or the alphabet, you can place either last name first if a married pair has different last names. The title “Mrs.” is typically used to denote a married woman or man:
  • • Mrs. Emma Fech and Mr. Noah Malich
• List the hyphenated name of the partner who has it last if it exists. You may use “Ms.” or “Mr.,” if appropriate:
  • • Mr. Benjamin Dimick and Ms. Evelyn Harjo-Dimick
• If one partner is a judge, put “The Honorable” after the judge’s name before using “Judge” for the inside envelope:
  • • The Honorable Amelia Jones Brown and Mr. Henry David Brown
• No matter the partner’s gender, the distinguished title takes precedence if one of them holds a distinguished title, such as a member of the clergy, rabbi, or military personnel:
  • • Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass
      —or—
      Rabbi Richard and Mrs. Rosina Glass
      —or—
      The Honorable Senator Elizabeth Ann Warren and Mr. Bruce Mann
• If both partners hold eminent positions, use the same format for the same or different last names as for the doctors listed above. If two titles have the same rank, the one with the greater rank should appear first; otherwise, the woman should be listed first:
  • • Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jeffries
      —or—
      Lieutenants Amy and Jake Peralta
      —or—
      Captain Benjamin Pierce and Major Margaret Houlihan, US Army

For Two Envelopes

Use the options listed here to address the outer envelopes for each married couple scenario. You have two less formal alternatives for inner envelopes: titles and last names, or first names alone (but only if you are very close with the couple). Here are some illustrations of how married couples might address inside envelopes:

• Couples with the same last name should use:
  • • Mr. and Mrs. William Johnson
      —or—
      William and Olivia
• In the case of a couple with several last names:
  • • Mrs. Fech and Mr. Malich
      —or—
      Emma and Noah
• For a pair whose last names are hyphenated:
  • • Mr. Benjamin and Ms. Harjo-Dimick
      —or—
      Benjamin and Dimick
• Regarding a couple and a judge:
  • • Judge Brown and Mr. Brown
• A joint distinguishing title for a couple:
  • • Rabbi and Mrs. Glass
      —or—
      Senator Warren and Mr. Mann
• Couple with the same last name and two prestigious titles:
  • • The Lieutenants Peralta
      —or—
      Colonel and Reverend Jefferies
• A couple having two honorable positions and different last names:
  • • Captain Pierce and Major Houlihan

For One Envelope

• You have two choices if a couple is not married but is living together. On different lines, you can list each person’s name in alphabetical order by last name:
• Ms. Ava Miller, Mr. James Davis
• Alternatively, you can place both names on the same line, starting with the relative to whom you are closest. Continue alphabetically if you are equally close to both:
• Mr. Ross Geller and Ms. Rachel Green
• If a couple is not married and does not share a home, each guest should receive a separate invitation.

For Two Envelopes

• For the outer envelope, adhere to the aforementioned rules. Use courtesy titles and last names for the inner envelope, or just the couple’s first names if you know them well.
  • • Ms. Miller and Mr. Davis —or— Ava and James

For One Envelope

• Use “Ms.” if the visitor is an unmarried woman unless she is under the age of 18; in this situation, “Miss” spelled out is preferable:
  • • Ms. Donna-Jo Tanner or Ms. Elizabeth Lemon
• Unless the male guest is under 18, in which case there is no need for a title, address him as “Mr.”
  • • Mr. George Constanza
• If your guest identifies as nonbinary, they must follow the same basic guidelines as when speaking to women or men. In most cases, you can address someone as “Mx.” If you’re unsure, ask them to use their preferred pronoun.
  • • Mx. Courtney Andrews
• It’s essential to find out from a close friend or relative whether a widowed guest still likes to be addressed by her husband’s name or by her marital name. Make sure to ask because some widows could also want to address people as “Ms.”
  • • Mrs. Blanche Deveraux, or Mrs. George Devereaux
• If the guest is a woman who has recently been divorced, you have similar options; you can address her envelope with “Ms.” or “Mrs.” and either her ex-last husband’s name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her desire.
  • • Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon, Mrs., or Ms. Cookie Holloway
• Use “The Honorable” before the guest’s full name if they are a judge:
  • • The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor
• Use “Father” before the guest’s full name if he is a priest:
  • • Father Damien Karras

For Two Envelopes

When it comes to inner vs. outer envelopes, the same conventional etiquette standards that apply to couples also apply here. The guidelines above are followed for outer envelopes. Only if you are very close to the recipient should you utilize first names alone or exclude them from inner envelopes. Here are some illustrations of proper individual inner envelope addressing:

• For a single female:
  • Ms. Lemon —or— Elizabeth
• For an underage single female:
  • Miss Chase
• For a single male:
  • Mr. Costanza —or— George
• For a widow:
  • Mrs. Devereaux —or— Blanche
• For a female divorcee:
  • Mrs./Ms. Lyon —or— Mrs./Ms. Holloway
• For a single judge:
  • Judge Sotomayor
• For a priest:
  • Father Karras

A wedding invitation could come with two envelopes, as we previously said. But why, while trying to figure out how to address wedding invites, is this even the case in the first place? According to custom, the outer envelope is used for mailing, and the inner envelopes are used to indicate the guests to whom the invitation is sent.

Although using merely an outer envelope offers advantages, doing so can also be beneficial. To begin with, two envelopes guarantee that the inner envelope is kept spotless and perfect. Clarifying who else is invited, such as plus ones or children, is another advantage.

There isn’t a rule requiring the usage of numerous envelopes, though. There aren’t many benefits to using two envelopes other than those described above. When addressing wedding invites, outer envelopes are sufficient. Even using inner envelopes may be argued to be a waste of paper by some.

I’ll now return to the current problem. Are inner envelopes really necessary for wedding invitations? Of course not! It all depends on personal opinion, but omitting the inside envelope is a common way to save money and paper.